Slow Water

I wrote this poem over a year ago, maybe even two. It came at a particularly painful moment in my journey and has provided strength ever since. I hope it will help you too.

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It sinks in like slooow water

the aches and pains of a life lived mostly alone

alone with those who should love me but couldn’t

or wouldn’t…

It sinks in like oil on skin

that I have lived a life alone

with only my self in the mirrors of my mind

mimicking other tones and faces

rewriting ambivalent stares into stories of best-tries

and old bones.

It sinks in …

permeating this callous desert floor

that those cherished drops of love I felt

all this time

was my own heartbeat

murmuring back at me.

Then one day that floor sinks in.

I find deeep reservoirs of love

and life

and dark aqua marine.

And an army of my many selves,

once slaves to the slow drips of love

carry it up and

pour it out again

on my own skin.

I will love me, like no one else can.

I will grow me a Garden of Delights

where once I trudged along through arid sands.

It sinks in that I am Love.